A first date often is that significant moment in early dating. It is a sort of encounter that allows you to know better the other person, to test chemistry, and sometimes find a potential connection. After the date is over, it’s time to face a new challenge: what to text after a first date? For most, this is such a nerve-wracking moment. Writing the right follow-up message sets the mood for what the future holds – whether that’s another date, further communication, or polite goodbye.
This piece is going to guide you through that precarious time of what to text after the first date, no matter how it goes. From veiled hints to direct talks, here’s how to draw the best out of your post-first-date texts.
Measure how you feel.
Check in with your feelings about the date before hitting send on a message. Enjoyed the date? Was it some kind of chemistry, or did you feel just a little out of touch? The way that you feel will determine the kind of message you’re going to write.
In case you are keen on going for a second date, the text should be vibrant and full of excitement. If you do not feel any connection and do not see a reason why things should keep moving, then too, being polite and courteous is essential in the reply message. Knowing how you really feel will further assist you in determining the tone and the content of your text.
Text of thanksgiving
Whether you like history or not, thanks is always a tender and safe position from which to address the situation. A simple thank you message is courteous and shows that you appreciate all the effort and time spent together.
Example:
“Hey [name], I just wanted to say thanks again for tonight! I had a really good time.
This works well because it is neutral but kind. This gives the other person an opportunity to respond-it may be that they feel this way as well, or perhaps this opens them up to further ideas and thoughts as well. Regardless of what happens on that first date, gratitude is a good way to begin a conversation.
Be honest but not too harsh.
If the date went well and you feel positive that you want to go out again, there is nothing wrong with expressing some enthusiasm. Just be sure not to overdo it. A lighthearted and playful message might indicate that you enjoyed the date and want to see that person again.
Example
“Had a great night! Would love to do it again sooner than later if you’re game for it :)”
This kind of message is not very wordy, but it shows interest in a second date and still doesn’t overdo it; this is evidence that you are interested in knowing more about him. Smiling facial expression adds warmth and friendliness to the message without appearing too formal.
Remember a funny or interesting incident that occurred during the date.
If something comical or interesting happens during the date, bringing it up in the follow-up message is a good way to personalize the message. It will help create an emotional connection and remind the other party of a pleasing and shared moment.
Example:
“So I’m still laughing about the story you told about [insert funny or interesting moment here]. Had a great time tonight!
This kind of text lets the recipient know that you were really listening to him/her during the date and enjoyed their company. It becomes an automatic response from the other party to continue the conversation, resulting in deepening the relationship.
Propose making or planning the next date
If the date was a success and you feel confident that you would like to get to know them better, you may be able to suggest another activity. Suggesting to plan the next date shows energy and perhaps a little bravery, attributes that can be interesting. You should also ensure that your suggestion is casual and not too probable.
Example:
“I had such a good time tonight! Let me know if you are up for [suggest activity] sometime soon.”
Being able to suggest doing something else shows that you’re much more than just interested in continuing to get to know them, but at the same time, shows that you’re putting things in their hands. It’s a good way to make sure they’re not forced into anything, and it’s an open indication that you are indeed interested in seeing them again.
If you do not feel it.
In most cases, the first date does not cause a buzz in your life but is okay. Keep your follow-up message kind and caring but honest about how you feel. If you are not interested in getting a second date, then let them down gently, but do not keep strung down as this can make things worse.
Example:
“Thanks for tonight! It was nice to meet you, but I think we are actually looking for something different. Have a great search for what you need!”
This response is straightforward and gentle. It’s honest in that you tell them you’re not interested in pursuing because you’re not attracted to each other, but in such a way that you don’t come off as harsh or unaccepted. The end will be positive, which leaves you smiling and showing respect in the conversation.
Wait for their response.
After you’ve sent your follow-up, give the person time to get back. Maybe they’re just taking their time thinking through how they feel. Or maybe they are just really busy. Be resistent to shooting multiple text messages or checking in because they haven’t replied yet. Patience shows confidence and respect for your own time.
Once they do not react after several days, one can just proceed with the assumption of their non-interest to take things further. Again, though, don’t put too much pressure on the situation and yourself.
Timing Matters
There is a perfect time for a follow-up message. Timing is everything when sending a text following a first date. While it is undesirable to be too aggressive in pursuit, waiting too long can be a bad sign that you are not interested. In any case, the best practice would be to send the text within 24 hours of the date to ideally send it over the same evening or the following day.
It becomes a fresh conversation if you send the message in time after the date. And it would show the recipient that you are thinking about that person. But in case the date was in the evening, and you are uncertain whether to text right away, then there is nothing wrong with waiting until the next morning.
Don’t Overthink It.
After the date, it is quite easy to get caught up on the minute details of texting afterwards, forgetting that the messaging only constitutes a fragment of a much larger interaction. All the best you’ll do is overthink your message, which will only bring you unnecessary stress and anxiety. A good follow-up text should be authentic, thought-provoking, and concise.
Focus on being yourself and expressing exactly how you truly feel about the date. A natural, honest approach will resonate better than trying to craft the “perfect” message. And let’s be real: texting is only one means of communication-it’s the ongoing connection and compatibility that really matters.
Keep the conversation going
If both of you want to get to know one another, the conversation over just one follow-up text is not enough. After they have said yes, discuss it further. Ask about their week, share some funny video you have come across, or discuss common interests.
Light and pleasant the conversation will be with keeping strengthening your relationship while creating one.
No need to push the plans for a next date; sometimes letting the conversation evolve organically leads to far more authentic next steps.
The outcome
The moment that is either huge or sucks: texting after a first date. It needn’t necessarily stress you out, as you can be a nice and considerate guy who got one date right, no matter whether it was huge or just so-so. Gratitude, honesty, and respect for this person’s time and your emotions are fantastic ingredients for the ultimate follow-up message. Be yourself, keep it light, and let the conversation flow freely!
